I’ve been thinking of ways to approach this topic of being a fat girl with a passion for hiking and continually come up with taboo and controversial thoughts.
I know the word “fat” makes people feel awkward. My intention here isn’t to make people feel uncomfortable, but to bring light to this topic.
Plus, how many times can I make a joke about how low my chances of being captured are because no one would want to carry me to their car?
True Story:
I am fat with a passion for hiking, outdoor adventure, and everything that comes along with this lifestyle. It took a good attitude change, a facing fears mentality, and motivation to get to me to where I am today.
Here is my Story:
I spent many years talking myself into set back after set back. It was easier that way. The minute I decided to face my fears and stereotypes, my entire life changed.
Ladies, I’ll be honest. I am a large gal. If you are new here, you should know that I am a rather large chickadee with an even larger heart for hiking. I have an aggressive sweating issue and huff and puff the entire time my body is moving. Sometimes, after a few hours hiking in the woods, I can actually smell myself. Can you even imagine? SO GROSS!
My breathing is so heavy that someone a mile away can probably hear me. I used to make excuse after excuse when someone asked me to go hiking. I would do anything to avoid being judged. Sometimes just looking at a trail would make me breath heavy. Most people think that the longer you exercise, your stamina, endurance, and breathing changes. I might agree with the stamina and endurance part. Apparently, the heavy breathing situation is just a part of who I am. I don’t see that going away anytime soon.
If you’ve passed me on the trails over the last few years, you’ve heard my breathing. I was probably on the side of the path pretending to be on a very important phone call. Maybe I was taking pictures or adjusting my pack? Basically, what was actually happening was I was too embarrassed to pass you with my heavy breathing so I caused a diversion. WHAT A JOKE! Who does this? Was I really that embarrassed to be a fat girl getting exercise? I am so glad to say this mentality has come and gone, but I do feel the need to share this horrible truth with you so you can gain perspective on how far I’ve come.
Imagine trying to wear shorts when your thighs rub together and cause horrible chaffing. Are biker shorts really the only options? I typically wear patterned leggings because that’s the available, affordable choice. Restocking happens often because my thigh rubbing causes holes in the leg seams and crotch area. I even wore a pair of leggings just this very morning with tiny holes starting to form. You should have seen me towards the end of my hike adjusting them so they would’t rip even more. Thank goodness for going at 6:00 a.m. or other hikers would have assumed I was picking at my crotch. You can’t make this stuff up – it’s just real life.
How could something that sounds so stressful bring so much joy?
You might also be thinking how could someone in ripped, Minnie Mouse leggings that you can probably smell (& hear) from 100 yards away possibly be enjoying herself? Let me explain.
Just this morning, I took a different trail path. I’ve avoided this path over the past few weeks for two different reasons. For starters, it’s a several mile loop. There are no short cuts back to my parent’s neighborhood; where I park my car. On the weekends or days off, this is no big deal. Second, it has a “Big Momma Hill” on steroids. By now, you have all heard me talk about the ‘normal’ “Big Momma Hill,” my arch nemesis, that I tackle daily on my normal route. Well this route that I usually avoid has a hill that makes that one look like miniature.
First of all, I used to hike this trail every single day. It’s a stunning trek. Majority of this hike is along a creek with three water crossing stops. My recent reason for avoiding this trail is the time. This loop takes me between an hour and a half to two hours, depending on the day’s strength and stamina. I don’t have two hours to hike in the early mornings. Allowing myself an hour seems to be the norm. Sometimes I can push it to an hour and a half; max.
My work day starts promptly at 8:30 a.m. I need time to shower in between my morning self care routine.
Well, today I showed up bright and early. I’m talking 5:45 a.m.
Why not give this a real try? I reminded myself that the sun wasn’t even up yet, and that I had plenty of time.
I knew I might have to push myself extra hard. After all, I did recently discover that I had shaved two minutes off my average mile time. This discovery had me feeling extra motivated and cocky.
Majority of the first few miles were spent pep talking to my inner monologue. Just don’t take too many breaks on the climb up the mega hill; I would tell myself. This way you won’t run out of time. I chanted this over and over again. And in a blinks notice, I was at the top of the hill.
Did I really just hike all the way up this hill without stopping?
DAMN RIGHT I DID!
WHO WAS I?
IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?
CAN I STOP NOW AND CATCH MY BREATH IN BETWEEN THE HAPPY TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE?
WHY AM I ALL ALONE?
WHY ISN’T ANYONE ELSE AWAKE, AT 6 A.M., SHARING IN THIS MONUMENTAL MOMENT?
WAIT, DID I REALLY JUST DO THAT?
I could, clearly, go on and on. Both of my reasons for avoiding this trail blew away in the wind. I had finished the two hour hike in an hour and twenty minutes. Plus, I just tackled the mega hill with ease. Okay, maybe I didn’t hike that hill with ease. I hiked it with blind determination and motivation in my heart.
Happy tears aside, this is why I love hiking and outdoor adventure. Each and every single day I am able to accomplish new things. Hiking was never on my list of something I could do; let alone successfully.
Who said fat girls can’t love hiking?
Have I mentioned that I am fat with a passion for hiking, outdoor adventure, and everything that comes along with this lifestyle?
Did I tell you that it took a good attitude change, a facing fears mentality, and motivation to get to me to where I am today?
I enjoy outdoor adventure because it allows me to push myself, hold myself accountable, see results, AND gain clarity.
When was the last time you believed you could really push yourself; fat, skinny, tall, short, green, purple?
Do you actively hold yourself accountable and see results after the hard work? Let me tell you, the clarity and satisfaction is worth the effort.
Something so small, can often, make me feel so satisfied. I want to feel on top of the world every single day. Being able to face my fears and feel proud of my outcome allows me to feel that way.
Now it’s time to really tell you what it feels like to be a fat girl with a passion for hiking and outdoor adventure.
It feels freaking fabulous.
